Christa Kelly, Staff Writer

If you smelled something pungent in the air the Saturday before last, don’t worry; you weren’t having a stroke. You’re just allergic to alt-right racists.

Jacob Wohl and Laura Loomer rolled into town on Feb. 22 to conduct a “meticulous investigation” into Minnesota Representative Ilhan Omar. Their “investigation,” or whatever you want to term this fear mongering, was allegedly to look into baseless allegations that she had married her brother to help him immigrate into the United States. Not only is this absurd and lacking of all proof, but the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services allow brothers and sisters of citizens to apply for permanent residency status, so it’s also nonsensical.

But Wohl and Loomer were adamant that the “Democratic Media Complex” wasn’t going to look into the claims, so they needed to go to Minneapolis and do it themselves.

But the Minneapolis they were describing doesn’t match the one Augsburg sits in. Wohl described the Minneapolis he traveled to as “a third-world ghetto.” This is despite the fact that, according to statistics from the Minneapolis Police Department, the crime rate is relatively low compared to other large cities in the United States. Wohl reported that “Islamists’ forces here have taken over sections of the respective police departments.” Loomer added, “There are men who walk around in orange vests that say ‘Sharia police’ in some of these Somali communities.”

What this nonsense is supposed to mean is anyone’s guess. The most probable explanation is that it was another scare tactic to attempt to make a quick buck. Their funding site begged for money to “protect the lives” of the investigators. Apparently, to safely travel to Minneapolis you need $25,000. Congrats to everyone reading who braves the city without those funds.

Even during their trip, Wohl kept begging for money to protect them from our lawless city. He claimed that he was using his supporters’ funds for “very competent” bodyguards to keep them from being “slain,” armored cars, drivers and bulletproof vests. What did he think the threat was? Who knows what they were actually spending the money on since none of the members of the three security contract firms they claimed to have hired actually showed up on camera.

Even that wasn’t enough to protect them from the horrors of Minnesota. They announced that the state is “not a very pleasant place, it’s a wonder why anyone wants to come here.”

But unfortunately for Minnesota, Wohl and Loomer had. They visited the Immigration Law Center of Minnesota, allegedly to help Jewish family overseas immigrate to Minnesota (reminder: seconds earlier, he was wondering why anyone would want to come here) and left with “a huge update.” Wohl claimed that upon arriving they were told that “Jews are banned.”

Not that much (or any) of what Wohl says should be trusted, but Wohl gained attention about three years ago when a hedge fund he had started at age 17 turned out to be built on lies. This mishap and other illegal business practices over the next few years led the National Futures Association to ban him for life. Soon after this, he was ordered by the Arizona Corporation Commission to pay $38,000 in fines for defrauding investors.

New scandals are on the horizon for him. He is suspected of paying a woman to claim that Robert Mueller sexually assaulted her. In addition, he was banned from Twitter just days ago for making fake accounts and boasting about making more to help sway the 2022 presidential election.

His friend Loomer isn’t immune from controversy either. Her Twitter account was taken down in November after she repeatedly made racist comments. She protested by handcuffing herself to the front door of the company’s headquarters. After two hours, she got cold and asked police to cut the handcuffs off. Maybe Minnesota’s weather should stay cold for a little longer.

Online exclusive.