Cal’s Corner

Calvin Denson Lehman

Hello everybody! How are things? Do you have any big assignments coming up? If school’s got you stressed out, ask me some self-care questions at densoni@augsburg.edu, or anonymously, at https://tinyurl.com/wla8k9a. As always, I’m not a licensed therapist, but I am avoiding doing my homework, so go ahead and tell me anything!

Dear Cal,

Recently I’ve been going through a bit of a life crisis, and I’ve been leaning a lot on my friends for help, advice, and affirmations. My friends are lovely people who have really been there for me during this time, but I worry that I’ve been asking too much of them. I hate feeling like a burden, and I don’t want to be dependent or force the people around them to overextend themselves. Do I need to become more self-sufficient and not ask for help anymore, or do I need to think about the situation differently and learn to be okay with asking for help? Is there something else I can do?

Sincerely, Stressed about being Supported

Dear Stressed,

It sounds like there are a lot of people who care about you! Needing help sometimes is a natural part of life, and the people around you know that. It’s okay to need things from other people sometimes. If you’re worried about your friends, you could just ask them! Check in with the people around you and ask how they’re feeling as well. Tell them that you appreciate them, or share some of your insecurities about being burdensome. I think you will find that your friends don’t mind, especially if they know you’re going through it. I hope things get better soon!

Best, Cal

Dear Cal,

So I pretty recently came out as bisexual and have also never been in a real relationship because it was never really that important to me. However, I’ve been seeing this girl and she’s super nice and I do like her. My friends think I’m taking it too slow, but we have only hung out in group settings a few times and are only just now going on a date just the two of us. I do like her, but we have mutual friends and I’m new to this so I don’t want to rush it. And, since I only just came out, I feel extra nervous about dating women. Am I taking it too slow? Is there any other advice you have for me?

Sincerely, So Nervous!

Dear Nervous!

Liking women is a wonderful thing! I’m so excited for you as you discover this new part of your existence. I think it’s okay to take things as slow as you like! You don’t need to follow someone else’s pace, especially because you’re still figuring things out yourself. There’s no rush, particularly if this girl is very nice! I think if things are meant to work out, she’ll be patient with you. Take your time and feel things out. I hope your date goes well!

Best, Cal