Hello, my name is Dante Austin (pen name, NTÉ), and I am a first-year student at Augsburg, majoring in Theater and minoring in Religion and Education Studies. I’ve moved around a lot in my life but most recently hail from the state of Washington on the West Coast. I have a passion for storytelling, whether it be writing, music, or theater. I have been a writer ever since I could hold a pen, but I only recently gained the confidence to share my works. I find beauty and solace in poetry, so that is my main form of written expression.

Alone

My parents raised me well
So I know how to care for myself
To sit in silence
To be on my lonesome

They prepared me for quiet nights
For darkness
And sadness
And gloom

How to act in an emergency
How to gather up the pieces and rebuild

They taught me to survive on my own

I know how to change a tire
And call for help
And navigate the streets quickly to get home safe at night

But they never taught me what to do when I succeed
They never taught me how to celebrate without them
Never taught me what to do
When things go right
And they’re just not there

I wasn’t prepared
To experience joy
Without a familiar soul in sight

I wasn’t prepared
I wasn’t taught
I never learned

How to be happy
How to have joy
How to be jubilant
Without them standing there next to me

How do I share such joy with a stranger
How do I express the unseen parts of my story
How do I tell a new friend
What a big accomplishment this is
How long I’ve been waiting
When I know my parents
Who are oh so far away
Would know just what to do
Just what to say

Who makes your birthday cake
When you’re a thousand miles away
Who packs your lunch
For the first day of school
Who kisses you goodnight
And tucks you in

Who says congratulations
Who comes to all the games
Or shows
Or meets

Who sits in the stands

Who knows you when you start anew
Who holds you
When you sit alone
In a new room
In a new place
In a new state

Who teaches you
Not how to be brave
But how to smile
When the one you always turned to
Is in another time zone

Who explains
The pain in the chest
That tightening
When you see others
Standing with their smiles bright
And their parents beaming
Who explains why mine aren’t here
Who tells the hard truth
Who knows me
Knows what to say
When you cry so hard
You want to throw up
Because they aren’t there
And they aren’t going to be
Not because they don’t want to
But because they can’t
They can’t be with you
And you can’t be with them
And that agony in the pit of the stomach
Only grows stronger
When you realize how happy
You really are
All on your own

Flowers and saying Goodbye

They leave before I see their face
They leave a gift at the door
I search the crowd for their faces
But they’re long gone

They’re busy
They could only spend one moment with me
I feel left behind
With only these flowers to remember them
And when they leave
I need to find a vase
And some water
To try and remember their being with me for as long as I can

I wish I could tell them how much I care
Show them my thanks
Tell them they answered my prayers

I wish I felt safe enough to cry
To completely break down and yell
To scream at the world
Because I'm doing so great
And my mother is nowhere in sight
And all those whom she left me with
Leave with a quickness

Milk
Today, I went to the campus cupboard
And I got a thing of milk
It was a simple thing
But it made me feel human again

I ran down to the gas station
Bought myself some microwave mac and cheese

These little things mean the world to me
They show I can care for my body
I can find ways
To brighten up
My weary days

Acts of resistance don’t have to be flashy
Self-care doesn’t have to blow your mind

For me
Midnight cereal
And snacking with friends
Is love

Taking a walk
Deciding what’s mine is yours

Today I got myself
A thing of milk
And I've never felt more
Human