Features

Turkey takes


Jen Kochaver, Features Editor


1. Stuffing – What doesn’t it have? With the cloud-like texture of mashed potatoes plus the spices which, outside of Thanksgiving, live only in dreams, there’s no place for this side but number one.

2. Yams – When else can you eat what is clearly a dessert and call it a vegetable? This is one of the most impressive tricks Thanksgiving has given us and I adore it.

3. Cranberry sauce – Like the above, this sauce has many dessert-like properties yet makes it onto the dinner menu. And, if you ask this author: canned, not homemade.

4. Mashed potatoes – A little boring, but classic and rarely disappointing. Gravy is a must.

5. Pies (of all sorts) – It is impossible to account for every individual pie filling on this list, but Thanksgiving is nothing without this staple. However, this item is hit or miss depending on your baker. Nothing like a poorly-prepared crust to ruin a dessert.

6. Turkey – This may be a controversial take, but turkey is by far the driest of meats and the fact that we all, year after year, bend to conform to societal pressure and roast this bird up yet again is outrageous.

7. Green beans – A vegetable? Without any sort of dessert-like disguise?? Who would ever extend a holiday invitation to such an everyday side. Hard pass.

This article was originally published in the Nov. 16, 2018 issue. 

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