Features, Joke Issue 2019

A’viands provides the best food benefits in years

Kristy Moua, Hungry for Change

A’viands and Augsburg University held a recent meeting on Saturday, March 30. Apparently, A’viands has decided to finally upgrade their food variety and use local, organic produce. Not only did A’viands present this amazing new upgrade, but the food company has also recently published a cookbook titled: “Healthy, Authentic College Recipes that Won’t Give You the Freshman 15 (or disappoint your night).”

Each student will be able to receive a free cookbook through their Augsburg mailbox as a thank-you gift for dealing with A’viands for all of these years. The gifts and upgrades do not end here, for A’viands has also promised to donate a check to Augsburg to create a second check-in line to avoid having students and faculty wait in enormous line.

Furthermore, A’viands and Augsburg are in the works to create more inclusive dishes, especially for those who are vegan and vegetarians. A’viands has vowed from now on to recognize the real needs of all types of students. Finally, as an extra bonus surprise, every Wednesday there will be a celebrity chef that will be coming in to cook right in front of students. Augsburg’s very first guest chef the world renowned chef, Gordon Ramsay. A’viands is finally living up to it’s three-year contract.

This article was originally published in the April 5, 2019 issue.