Content warning: sexual assault)
Untitled
Kennedy Pounds, Contributor
Black girl walks with the world on her shoulders
She doesn’t want to ask for help because help is for the weak
Black girl is not weak
She has a strength that comes from her soul
The kind of strength that can only come from her ancestors
From God
From within
To her there is no such thing as too strong
The weight of the world, tho it crushes her
She is still able to stand and face another day
Black girl clings to her hope
She holds on to it for dear life because it is the only thing that keeps her going
Hope
A small but mighty word
The kind of word that should not be taken lightly
Black girl is tired
But she cannot sleep
Because when she sleeps the darkness emerges
It seeps underneath her door
The monsters come out from under her bed to play
But she is tired of this game
Suddenly the evil shows it’s true form
It touches her ever so slightly so as not to wake her up
One hand slides up her thigh while the other covers her mouth
She cannot scream
She cannot see
She cannot move
But she smells him
That familiar scent
The one that fills her with dread and desire at the same time
Black girl knows what comes next
At this point it is like a song that stays on repeat
You’ve heard it too many times but can’t seem to skip it
Black girl sleeps with the light on to keep the evil at bay
She is scared
Every time she closes her eyes he is there
So she keeps them open
Always watching
Always checking her surroundings
Always on alert
Never chill
Being chill is a luxury that she cannot afford to have
Because the second she lets her guard down
He will be back
Black girl will be ready for him
But she does not know if she will survive the aftermath if it happens again
So she writes
She puts it all on paper
Meticulously writing each feeling
Each emotion
Each detail
Until the paper is full
Then and only then black girl is convinced that she can fly
In her mind she has already faced a fate worse than death and survived
The weight of the world doesn’t feel so heavy
When you don’t have to carry it alone
And for a few moments black girl is happy, bliss
During the day black girl knows what it feels like to be free
But as the hours tick by
She fears what the night will bring
Even though she already knows