Content warning: sexual assault)

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Kennedy Pounds, Contributor

 

Black girl walks with the world on her shoulders

She doesn’t want to ask for help because help is for the weak 

Black girl is not weak 

She has a strength that comes from her soul

The kind of strength that can only come from her ancestors 

From God 

From within

To her there is no such thing as too strong

The weight of the world, tho it crushes her

She is still able to stand and face another day

Black girl clings to her hope

She holds on to it for dear life because it is the only thing that keeps her going

Hope

A small but mighty word 

The kind of word that should not be taken lightly 

 

Black girl is tired

But she cannot sleep

Because when she sleeps the darkness emerges

It seeps underneath her door

The monsters come out from under her bed to play 

But she is tired of this game

Suddenly the evil shows it’s true form

It touches her ever so slightly so as not to wake her up

One hand slides up her thigh while the other covers her mouth

She cannot scream

She cannot see

She cannot move

But she smells him

That familiar scent 

The one that fills her with dread and desire at the same time

Black girl knows what comes next 

At this point it is like a song that stays on repeat 

You’ve heard it too many times but can’t seem to skip it

 

Black girl sleeps with the light on to keep the evil at bay

She is scared 

Every time she closes her eyes he is there 

So she keeps them open

Always watching 

Always checking her surroundings 

Always on alert

Never chill

Being chill is a luxury that she cannot afford to have

Because the second she lets her guard down

He will be back

Black girl will be ready for him

But she does not know if she will survive the aftermath if it happens again

So she writes 

She puts it all on paper 

Meticulously writing each feeling 

Each emotion

Each detail

Until the paper is full

Then and only then black girl is convinced that she can fly 

In her mind she has already faced a fate worse than death and survived 

 

The weight of the world doesn’t feel so heavy 

When you don’t have to carry it alone

And for a few moments black girl is happy, bliss

During the day black girl knows what it feels like to be free

But as the hours tick by 

She fears what the night will bring

Even though she already knows