Hello readers! How was your Valentine’s Day? If romance troubles have you down, feel free to write in to densoni@augsburg.edu, or anonymously, at https://tinyurl.com/wla8k9a. As usual, I am not a licensed therapist, but I am kind of cute, so go ahead and tell me anything! 

Dear Cal,

I have been friends with a girl for about seven years. Recently I’ve noticed that our relationship has changed. We’ve been talking about more serious things and about our future and have become closer. A few days ago she said that she liked me. I told her that I liked her too. This shouldn’t have felt weird since we tell all of our friends that we love them. On Valentine’s Day she asked if she could kiss me. Now I’m worried that I have a crush on her. Am I gay? Could I be reading too far into this? What if she meant all of this platonically?

Sincerely, Confused and (maybe) in love

Dear Confused,

You’re probably not reading too much into it. You very well might be gay. If you like each other, go for it! It sounds like you already have a pretty solid foundation for a relationship. I think you’ll be surprised by how things work out! Best of luck, you funky little lesbian.

Best, Cal

Dear Cal,

I recently began treatment for a recurring problem, but I feel guilty. It will get really bad for a few months and then be okay for a bit and then I’ll relapse again. This has been a cycle for years. I’m not in one of my dangerously bad relapses right now and I feel like I don’t deserve the help. Part of me wants to get worse before I let myself get better. In some ways I feel like this treatment, combined with this belief, is making my things worse. Should I stop going? I feel like I’m taking resources away from someone who needs them more.

Sincerely, Spiraling

Dear Spiraling,

I’m glad you’re getting the help you need. It’s okay to let yourself need things, even if you think someone else needs them more. There are enough resources to go around. I think those thoughts are something you could talk about in your treatment, if you feel comfortable doing so. Remember, you deserve good things all the time, not just when things get really bad. That includes help, whenever you need it.

Best, Cal

Dear Cal,

Is there any advice or words of affirmation you can give me to help push through the rest of the semester?

Sincerely, Emotionally Drained

Dear Emotionally Drained,

You can do this! You are stronger than you think! Things seem hard right now but we’re already a month into the semester and summer will be coming soon. Keep your chin up, okay? That said, it’s also okay to need help sometimes! Talk with friends, do some self-care, and be sure to keep in touch with yourself and what you need. I know the drive for academic success is overpowering, but it’s important to love yourself, too.

Best, Cal