Arts & Culture

Poem: Do not shame me; I am simply, and utterly, hurting

Tayana Osuna, arts & culture editor

Do not shame me; I am simply, and utterly, hurting

That is how it feels
Unpleasant is the only word that mirrors it 
That reflects 
The thing that contaminates my mind 
My body 
My soul 
The weight it carries pushes me inside 
To a place where it thrives
And I hide
The shame 
The embarrassment
The guilt I feel
Whenever it forces its way through the cracks of my heart
And into my eyes
And then finally out through my mouth
I can control what I do
And what I say
But I cannot control how I feel
I can control whether the tears bleed through my eyes
But I cannot control why they come 
If I yell 
If I scream 
If I scold
I am sorry
But do not ask me to apologize for feeling rage
For feeling fury
Because that is not my fault 
And it is not a flaw 
It is a part of me
It is my flame
That guides me through the unmerciful darkness 
And carries me when I can no longer walk

I think anger is often seen as something bad or evil, and I frequently felt invalidated for my emotions solely because I expressed them differently than others. It’s ok to be angry, just like it’s ok to be sad, and if you feel them both all at once, that is just fine.