Paul Ellertson, boy genius

According to critically acclaimed political scientist Percy Fartbelt, the biggest reason Trump and Biden are always bickering so intensely and cannot seem to get away from each other in the Presidential races is because they are married. That’s right, they are a married couple. News broke after their so-called “wives” admitted they are paid actors and spilled the beans on X, formerly Twitter.

Biden and Trump got married way back in the 1980s when Trump was trying to start his first businesses and Biden was just a young senator from Delaware, according to an article from Fartbelt. They met at a bar and instantly hit it off when Biden started in with argument topics. A few hours later, they were both kicked out of the bar for their screaming and berating of each other. They started meeting up at least once a week the same thing would happen and the rest is history.

This marriage-like arguing would then escalate during the 2020 presidential debate; very similar to the first one where Trump was rambling and Biden said “will you just shut up man!” and both guys would find themselves being kicked out of wherever they were. Also during the 2020 presidential race, Biden confronted his hubby and said “Hey, you did a bad job, let me have a try.” Trump then said “I have people who like me though.” Biden replied “Yes, but most people don’t like you.” This triggered another one of their lovely couples arguments.  

According to Fartbelt, the couple’s marriage had gotten even more heated during the years of Trump’s presidency. When Trump would do something rash and Biden would remind him, as a loving spouse reminds their partner, “I told you that wouldn’t work.” Trump would get so mad at his husband for these comments that he often took to venting on X about how annoying of a partner Biden was. Several months later, Biden won the election. Trump then accused him of cheating and threatened Biden with divorce unless Biden handed the election to him. Biden reminded Trump, “Look man, that’s not how democracy works.” Trump replied with “I don’t care!” and Biden just shook his head.

The love bickering has continued throughout Biden’s presidency as well. Biden described Trump as being like an old fly buzzing around Biden saying, “See, I did so much better than you.” Biden has so far been trying to bat away the old fly, which has so far not been very effective. One night, Trump came to Biden and said, “I’m going to take the White House away from you.” Biden replied with, “Bring it on then, honey,” making the lovely couple the primary candidates for the upcoming 2024 elections once again. 

According to Fartbelt and NPR News, the most recent instance of bickering was Trump accusing his husband of destroying America and calling him names like “Crooked Joe.” Fartbelt, in an interview with the Echo, said that he “believes the name calling is to attract press […] and it’s an affectionate thing that most couples do, think pet names.” Trump’s actions indicate that he is excited about the husband to husband rematch this November.