Joke Issue 2018

New Augsburg Day Student Body Presidential Candidate Just 300 Mices in a Trench Coat


Sarah Hanson, Celiac Disease Survivor


As the school year quickly draws to a close, the Augsburg Student Government elections are ramping up. Multiple students have already announced their candidacy for the Day Student Body President and Vice President positions.

As campaigns prepare for Election Day, a new candidate is just starting to gain steam. The Urness mice have climbed atop one another to take the shape of something roughly anthropomorphic, and slipped a men’s medium sized trench coat over their grotesque ‘body.’

In an interview with one of the mice stationed in the upper abdomen, the Urness mice’s platform is formed around the call to rid Urness Tower of mouse traps, get more cheese in the cafeteria and create a more cohesive environment on campus. “We want all 347 of our tiny mouse voices to be heard by the student body” said a mouse near the top of the human-like figure.

The Urness Mice are running with Toilet Rat as their Vice President. Be sure to look for this exciting new candidate on the ballot on April 9th and 10th!

  • This article first appeared in the Friday, April 6th Edition of The Echo.