Arts & Culture

ATTENTION! KNUCKLEHEAD ON THE LOOSE!!!

by The Echo
Photo of D.O.M not being happy about it

This man has been seen roaming around on campus with monstrous and destructive equipment and is intentionally using his equipment to eradicate the Augsburg landscape. As his identity is unknown, he has been referred to as D.O.M (Designated Operator of Machinery). He responds to English and claims to speak Spanish, but do not be fooled by his butchered palabras. He is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS! When approached he is known to sing the lyrics to Gasolina by Daddy Yankee as an attack! Please beware!

REWARD IF FOUND (ALIVE):

Two of Tayana’s origami cranes and VIP tickets to any future “Hotdogz With Brainz” concert

Photo of D.O.M mutilating the grass! Taken by Olivia Allery on Oct 18
Photo of D.O.M smiling menacingly! Taken by Danny Reinan in the last few moments of their life, Nov 11
Photo of D.O.M caught in the act on Nov 10, and he is not happy about it
Photo of D.O.M kicking the shit out of the defenseless grass, taken by Zully Sosa on Oct 20
Photo of D.O.M submitted by D.O.M, is this an act of war?

This article was published as part of The Echo’s 2022 joke issue.